I had Vista installed on my laptop and only had it for 3 weeks then all the sudden when I boot it up one morning it said I was missing a .DLL file and and wouldn%26#039;t start windows and had to have Vista CD to repair but unfortunately it didnt come with one, so I decided to try to instal Windows 98 just to get on the desktop and have my unle come upgrade it with XP Pro, well I can%26#039;t log on Normal desktop but I can log on Safety mode but I have no CD-Rom drive inputed into the system or it cant read the hardware. Is there any drivers for it to be supported in 98?
MATSHITA DVD-RAM UJ-850S ATA Device supported for windows 98?
Order a repair cd from the laptop manufacturer. I%26#039;m sure Windows 98 does not support most of the components of the laptop.
interest rate
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
How to annoy someone to move out?
well.. this may be a long story, I will try to make it short. About 2 years ago I met my husband and moved in (into the house he owns). His best friend also lives here( in the basement) and is the most disgusting pig I have ever met! examples... he dosent shower, he leaves food molding, is an alcholic (drinks about 15-30 beer a day) and leaves his empty beer cans all over the place.. just yesterday he left for work and forgot to turn his filthy toster oven off.. I smelled burning.. sure enough it was smoking hot because it was left on for about 6 hours before i noticed the smell. Anyways, my husband and I had a baby 11 months ago and i am worried for our safety. We plan to be moving in the next 6 months and gave the roomate notice. But it just isnt quick enough for me...im worried he will burn the house down or something. And my husband is too nice of a guy to give him the boot. Im just wondering if anyone has any ideas ... things I can do to annoy him so he will be more motivated
How to annoy someone to move out?
Try motivating your husband alittle. Don%26#039;t put up with having to live with someone else. Tell him that either he goes, or you and your child go. You need to tell him that you are uncomfortable, not willing to clean up behind this person, and that you are worried for your safety beings that he leaves things on and nearly causes house fires. I can assure you that if your husband loves you and his child he will do what it takes to see that this person leaves. Men don%26#039;t like to be the bad guy, they need alittle push sometimes. Help your husband find him another place to live this might ease the situation alittle.
Reply:Start bringing packing material into the house, now is a good time to start anyway. Put the majority of the material in the area he stays in, on his bed in his space, and start moving everything in that area as if that the space you chose to pack everything. Don%26#039;t leave anything for him to sit, sleep and get comfortable on, or in.
When you see him sitting around, tell him to go do something. When he%26#039;s sleeping vaccum, when he%26#039;s watching something on TV, vaccum, then when he turns up the volume, tell him to turn it down before he wakes up the baby.
Reply:Trying to annoy him... is just not adult at all. So... breath... and grow up a bit. Talk to your husband. Tell him that you want this man out. If he has been living there legaly you have to give him 30 days notice to get out of the house. Type up an eviction letter... and if he does not leave in the 30 days provided you can have the cops take him out (if it comes to that). Dont try to agrivate him to leave though... you see you are not setting a good example for your child (even though this is just a baby). You need to do this the adult way and get this man out of your house. You can tell him that there is no drinking in your home anymore. And you can tell him that he can not leave electrical apliances on or he will burn the house down. Tell him your problems... and then tell him to get out. If you are housing an alcoholic... you are enabeling him to continue down this bad path in life. If you kick him out... just maybe he will hit rock bottom and change his life around. I agree that he has to get out... just not the way you want to get rid of him. Good luck hun.
Reply:Watch a lot of sap movies, leave laundry around, play your music too loud, never have beer in the fridge even if he puts new ones in take them out.
Or just tell him %26quot;Look you egotistical slog, we are about to have a baby, you know this. We need the extra room, either you stop freeloading or pack your things right now, and get the helll out, because personally I am sick of you. I don%26#039;t want you here anymore. You have had enough time to find your own place, and if you haven%26#039;t then too bad, go live with someone else, or go home%26quot;.
Reply:Honey your fighting a lost battle, he is gonna remain nasty no matter what you do. I really feel bad for you because that would drive me crazy . The safety issue is very serious your husband should be more concerned with your safety as opposed to his friend. Just start talking about him on the phone with your friends when you know he can hear you let them know how nasty he is and how it is making your crazy see what happens.
Reply:You may want to talk to your husband about safety factors. He%26#039;s endangering not only you and your husband but your child as well. Try to convince your husband that %26quot;nice%26quot; could end up killing you all.
This guy needs help. Rather than trying to annoy him, maybe help him look for a place. He doesn%26#039;t sound like the type of person who will get annoyed easily if he has no problem living among trash and molding food. You%26#039;ve already given him notice so he knows he has to move. Why not do some research on your own, find some nice possibilities for him and talk about the kinds of bargains that are out there. Take him to look at some places and help him pack up and move. That way, you%26#039;re being helpful and you can preserve the friendship your husband has with him. You can also move him out of your home and be %26quot;nice%26quot; at the same time.
Reply:You can%26#039;t force him out right before the holidays. That%26#039;s just not going to happen.
So, you say you%26#039;ll be moving on in 6 months anyway?
I say wait it out. Be civil, be adult, and deal with it for a little while. It will all be over soon.
Reply:You have a baby. Should%26#039;t be an issue. Tell him how you feel and see what happens ask your husband to help.
skin disease
How to annoy someone to move out?
Try motivating your husband alittle. Don%26#039;t put up with having to live with someone else. Tell him that either he goes, or you and your child go. You need to tell him that you are uncomfortable, not willing to clean up behind this person, and that you are worried for your safety beings that he leaves things on and nearly causes house fires. I can assure you that if your husband loves you and his child he will do what it takes to see that this person leaves. Men don%26#039;t like to be the bad guy, they need alittle push sometimes. Help your husband find him another place to live this might ease the situation alittle.
Reply:Start bringing packing material into the house, now is a good time to start anyway. Put the majority of the material in the area he stays in, on his bed in his space, and start moving everything in that area as if that the space you chose to pack everything. Don%26#039;t leave anything for him to sit, sleep and get comfortable on, or in.
When you see him sitting around, tell him to go do something. When he%26#039;s sleeping vaccum, when he%26#039;s watching something on TV, vaccum, then when he turns up the volume, tell him to turn it down before he wakes up the baby.
Reply:Trying to annoy him... is just not adult at all. So... breath... and grow up a bit. Talk to your husband. Tell him that you want this man out. If he has been living there legaly you have to give him 30 days notice to get out of the house. Type up an eviction letter... and if he does not leave in the 30 days provided you can have the cops take him out (if it comes to that). Dont try to agrivate him to leave though... you see you are not setting a good example for your child (even though this is just a baby). You need to do this the adult way and get this man out of your house. You can tell him that there is no drinking in your home anymore. And you can tell him that he can not leave electrical apliances on or he will burn the house down. Tell him your problems... and then tell him to get out. If you are housing an alcoholic... you are enabeling him to continue down this bad path in life. If you kick him out... just maybe he will hit rock bottom and change his life around. I agree that he has to get out... just not the way you want to get rid of him. Good luck hun.
Reply:Watch a lot of sap movies, leave laundry around, play your music too loud, never have beer in the fridge even if he puts new ones in take them out.
Or just tell him %26quot;Look you egotistical slog, we are about to have a baby, you know this. We need the extra room, either you stop freeloading or pack your things right now, and get the helll out, because personally I am sick of you. I don%26#039;t want you here anymore. You have had enough time to find your own place, and if you haven%26#039;t then too bad, go live with someone else, or go home%26quot;.
Reply:Honey your fighting a lost battle, he is gonna remain nasty no matter what you do. I really feel bad for you because that would drive me crazy . The safety issue is very serious your husband should be more concerned with your safety as opposed to his friend. Just start talking about him on the phone with your friends when you know he can hear you let them know how nasty he is and how it is making your crazy see what happens.
Reply:You may want to talk to your husband about safety factors. He%26#039;s endangering not only you and your husband but your child as well. Try to convince your husband that %26quot;nice%26quot; could end up killing you all.
This guy needs help. Rather than trying to annoy him, maybe help him look for a place. He doesn%26#039;t sound like the type of person who will get annoyed easily if he has no problem living among trash and molding food. You%26#039;ve already given him notice so he knows he has to move. Why not do some research on your own, find some nice possibilities for him and talk about the kinds of bargains that are out there. Take him to look at some places and help him pack up and move. That way, you%26#039;re being helpful and you can preserve the friendship your husband has with him. You can also move him out of your home and be %26quot;nice%26quot; at the same time.
Reply:You can%26#039;t force him out right before the holidays. That%26#039;s just not going to happen.
So, you say you%26#039;ll be moving on in 6 months anyway?
I say wait it out. Be civil, be adult, and deal with it for a little while. It will all be over soon.
Reply:You have a baby. Should%26#039;t be an issue. Tell him how you feel and see what happens ask your husband to help.
skin disease
Why are Albanians who stole Kosovo from the Serbs who owned it 100s of years getting recognition "Kosovoistan"
For the record, 650,000 Muslim Albanians got the %26quot;boot%26quot; from Albania. If only 10% were %26quot;bad apples%26quot;, that was 65,000 %26quot;bleep heads%26quot;. These %26quot;displaced persons%26quot; with their %26quot;we must take over as Allah wishes it%26quot; attitudes went all over Europe as %26quot;refugees%26quot;.
Many went to Kosovo,began ambushing Serb police, but press decided %26quot;Serbs BAD Albanians freedom Fighters%26quot;. Finally, Serbs went in with enough firepower to find cop killers AKA murderers. Then it really got nasty as Serbs were accused of gathering villages and executions en masse. Did Albanians do these things so Serbs would be blamed?
Kosovo had belonged to the Serbs for 200 years. All of a sudden the Albanian Muslims KLA were the good guys and Serbs dissed by the entire world. USA paints planes NATO colors and bombs Serbs from 16000 feet (for safety). This is almost 3 miles high...you cannot %26quot;see%26quot; what you hit...bad Bill Clinton idea.
Only ONE US plane was ever shot down and miraculously...the pilot survived and was rescued. A chinese Embassy got bombed presumably by US pilots flying for NATO...at least 3 Chinese killed...bad, old data said it was a Serb target!
Later Christian churches hundreds of years old were torched by Albanians. This continued until Albanians controlled Kosovo.
Now they say,%26quot;We%26#039;re Independent of Serbia%26quot;. The Albanians murdered and killed and burned and pilaged for this land. Pres. Bush and other nation heads endorsed the NEw Kosovo %26quot;Republic%26quot;. Only Spain said,%26quot;B*ll Shiite%26quot;. Spanish know Irish slang! But they also know Albanians! Source(s) Did you know the Mau Mau of Africa were also Muslims? Their slogan was,%26quot;Kill,kill,kill!%26quot; I think Kosovo Muslims have a lot in common with them. Who is advising Bush? These kind of decisions make people think Bush is retarded!
Why are Albanians who stole Kosovo from the Serbs who owned it 100s of years getting recognition %26quot;Kosovoistan%26quot;
The reality of the situation please. The serbs attempted to commit genocide against a group of people, they failed, they cannot be considered responsible enough to take charge any more, so independence was a must.
But the %26quot;stealing of land%26quot; has been going on since the beginning of time. Land means NOTHING, it is about people, and if people cannot control their own destiny, cannot go to work, bring their kids up and live life in peace then they need to do something.
No one seems to have a problem with the fact that the american people %26quot;stole%26quot; america from the british, or that the british %26quot;stole%26quot; it from tha native americans, or that the native americans might have %26quot;stolen%26quot; it from some other people etc.
No one seems to have a problem that France used to belong to the british, or that britain used to belong to the french, or that the british %26quot;stole%26quot;, ireland, wales, scotland, or that the swiss %26quot;stole%26quot; land from other countries.
I could go on all day about changes in borders, who used to own what, who owns what now. It all means nothing, it is the old way of looking at history, that dates and facts were everything, now it is about the people of this world who are trying to control their own destiny.
And it has nothing to do with religion either, some will use religion as an excuse to fight wars, but then bush, a christian invaded iraq, hitler a christian invaded europe, stalin a christian invaded europe, Milosevic a christian invaded the who of yugoslavia, look at the worst crimes committed in the past and you will generally see a christian influence, they may not have considered themselves christians such as stalin and hitler, but they were brought up in a christian world.
Why no say that christianity is the worst of all religions? Well the muslims probably do! But not in Kosovo, why? because they were saved from a cristian orthodox country by christian countries.
Reply:Please, do not judge us Americans by what Bush is doing. 70% of all Americans disapprove of him. He does NOT represent us. I fully think Kosovo belongs to the serbs!!! And the fact that Bush is yet involved in ANOTHER conflict is laughable. I guess he forgot about Iraq.
Reply:Why are Americans who stole land from Indians who owned it for thousands of years got recognition?
Life is not fair.
Reply:Kosovo was ripped off from Albania forcefully 90 years ago as Russia backed Serbia in this theft. European great powers approved it for political deals with Russia.
Kosovo has always been an Albanian land since 3000 years ago. The Serbs came down from the Caucasus region only at the 7th century A.D. They spreaded to the south, toward the Balkans invading the Albanian lands. However Kosovo was always populated by Albanians. Only by ethnic cleansing the Serbs managed to move to Kosovo and have small settlements there (they make up only 5-6% of the population in Kosovo)
Kosovo has been under the Ottoman empire just as all other Balcan nations were, Serbs included. Before the start of WWI, in 1913, Balkans just came out of the Balcanic wars which were done in order to reshape the boundaries of Balcans after the fall of the Ottoman Empire. The great powers unjustly gave for the first time Kosovo to Serbia as a political deal (Serbia had the support of Russia as they are both slavic nations) despite the upraising of the Albanians aginst this unjust division of the Albanian lands.
Historical facts left alone, if you like, the recent reality showed that Serbs denigrated and governed Kosovo with shovinism and terror. A lot of ethnic cleansing happened ever since Kosovo has been under Serbia. Many people killed, Albanian woman raped in order to change the ethnic composition of the population in Kosovo. A much uglier and barbar form of Apartheid happened there. If you know about South Africa Apartheid...
The indipendence of Kosovo is a merited solution, an unjust theft that Europe had in its conscience for the last 90 years. And Albanians have celebrated it yesterday with tears of joy. At last, freedom...!
Reply:Face it Serbs,
if some of your compatriots didn%26#039;t act atrociously in the 90%26#039;s,
this would unlikely be an issue.
dog skin problem
Many went to Kosovo,began ambushing Serb police, but press decided %26quot;Serbs BAD Albanians freedom Fighters%26quot;. Finally, Serbs went in with enough firepower to find cop killers AKA murderers. Then it really got nasty as Serbs were accused of gathering villages and executions en masse. Did Albanians do these things so Serbs would be blamed?
Kosovo had belonged to the Serbs for 200 years. All of a sudden the Albanian Muslims KLA were the good guys and Serbs dissed by the entire world. USA paints planes NATO colors and bombs Serbs from 16000 feet (for safety). This is almost 3 miles high...you cannot %26quot;see%26quot; what you hit...bad Bill Clinton idea.
Only ONE US plane was ever shot down and miraculously...the pilot survived and was rescued. A chinese Embassy got bombed presumably by US pilots flying for NATO...at least 3 Chinese killed...bad, old data said it was a Serb target!
Later Christian churches hundreds of years old were torched by Albanians. This continued until Albanians controlled Kosovo.
Now they say,%26quot;We%26#039;re Independent of Serbia%26quot;. The Albanians murdered and killed and burned and pilaged for this land. Pres. Bush and other nation heads endorsed the NEw Kosovo %26quot;Republic%26quot;. Only Spain said,%26quot;B*ll Shiite%26quot;. Spanish know Irish slang! But they also know Albanians! Source(s) Did you know the Mau Mau of Africa were also Muslims? Their slogan was,%26quot;Kill,kill,kill!%26quot; I think Kosovo Muslims have a lot in common with them. Who is advising Bush? These kind of decisions make people think Bush is retarded!
Why are Albanians who stole Kosovo from the Serbs who owned it 100s of years getting recognition %26quot;Kosovoistan%26quot;
The reality of the situation please. The serbs attempted to commit genocide against a group of people, they failed, they cannot be considered responsible enough to take charge any more, so independence was a must.
But the %26quot;stealing of land%26quot; has been going on since the beginning of time. Land means NOTHING, it is about people, and if people cannot control their own destiny, cannot go to work, bring their kids up and live life in peace then they need to do something.
No one seems to have a problem with the fact that the american people %26quot;stole%26quot; america from the british, or that the british %26quot;stole%26quot; it from tha native americans, or that the native americans might have %26quot;stolen%26quot; it from some other people etc.
No one seems to have a problem that France used to belong to the british, or that britain used to belong to the french, or that the british %26quot;stole%26quot;, ireland, wales, scotland, or that the swiss %26quot;stole%26quot; land from other countries.
I could go on all day about changes in borders, who used to own what, who owns what now. It all means nothing, it is the old way of looking at history, that dates and facts were everything, now it is about the people of this world who are trying to control their own destiny.
And it has nothing to do with religion either, some will use religion as an excuse to fight wars, but then bush, a christian invaded iraq, hitler a christian invaded europe, stalin a christian invaded europe, Milosevic a christian invaded the who of yugoslavia, look at the worst crimes committed in the past and you will generally see a christian influence, they may not have considered themselves christians such as stalin and hitler, but they were brought up in a christian world.
Why no say that christianity is the worst of all religions? Well the muslims probably do! But not in Kosovo, why? because they were saved from a cristian orthodox country by christian countries.
Reply:Please, do not judge us Americans by what Bush is doing. 70% of all Americans disapprove of him. He does NOT represent us. I fully think Kosovo belongs to the serbs!!! And the fact that Bush is yet involved in ANOTHER conflict is laughable. I guess he forgot about Iraq.
Reply:Why are Americans who stole land from Indians who owned it for thousands of years got recognition?
Life is not fair.
Reply:Kosovo was ripped off from Albania forcefully 90 years ago as Russia backed Serbia in this theft. European great powers approved it for political deals with Russia.
Kosovo has always been an Albanian land since 3000 years ago. The Serbs came down from the Caucasus region only at the 7th century A.D. They spreaded to the south, toward the Balkans invading the Albanian lands. However Kosovo was always populated by Albanians. Only by ethnic cleansing the Serbs managed to move to Kosovo and have small settlements there (they make up only 5-6% of the population in Kosovo)
Kosovo has been under the Ottoman empire just as all other Balcan nations were, Serbs included. Before the start of WWI, in 1913, Balkans just came out of the Balcanic wars which were done in order to reshape the boundaries of Balcans after the fall of the Ottoman Empire. The great powers unjustly gave for the first time Kosovo to Serbia as a political deal (Serbia had the support of Russia as they are both slavic nations) despite the upraising of the Albanians aginst this unjust division of the Albanian lands.
Historical facts left alone, if you like, the recent reality showed that Serbs denigrated and governed Kosovo with shovinism and terror. A lot of ethnic cleansing happened ever since Kosovo has been under Serbia. Many people killed, Albanian woman raped in order to change the ethnic composition of the population in Kosovo. A much uglier and barbar form of Apartheid happened there. If you know about South Africa Apartheid...
The indipendence of Kosovo is a merited solution, an unjust theft that Europe had in its conscience for the last 90 years. And Albanians have celebrated it yesterday with tears of joy. At last, freedom...!
Reply:Face it Serbs,
if some of your compatriots didn%26#039;t act atrociously in the 90%26#039;s,
this would unlikely be an issue.
dog skin problem
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No small children.
Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building
Take care: new non-slip surface.
Box of Pills
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Can of black pepper.
Instructions: usage known.
Bag of cat biscuits
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.
Car Manual
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.
Espresso Kettle
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the %26#039;on%26#039; position.
T.V. manual
Do not pour liquids into your television set.
Label on a hammer
Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object
VCR box
Instructional video on hooking up VCR included.
Toilet brush
Do not use for personal hygiene.
Black rubber fishing worm
Not for human consumption.
Orange Juice Can:
100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.
Depend Adult Diapers
Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.
Furniture Wipes
Do not use for a baby wipe.
Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet
This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.
Lawnmower
Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning
Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza
Do not turn upside down.
Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle
Do not open here.
Bottle of bathtub cleaner
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
Container of lighter fluid
WARNING: Contents flammable!
Box of household nails
CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it
Direction #1: Remove plastic.
Drink bottle label
Do not peel label off.
Woolite carpet cleaner
Safe for carpets, too!
Box of Frosted Cheerio%26#039;s
The logo, %26quot;Tastes so good this box never closes,%26quot; is located just underneath another announcement: %26quot;To close: place tab here.%26quot;
Sterno
Do not use near fire or flame.
Container of salt
Warning: High in sodium
Hose Nozzle
Do not spray into electrical outlet.
Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products?
Oh my god, I laughed sooo hard when I was reading these. I have run into some funny ones myself. I think the best one was for some laundry pre-treater: spray on stain and wash.
Like nobody would have figured that one out. LOL
Reply:But these aren%26#039;t funny... these are there for protection. Report It
Reply:These aren%26#039;t for protection. The companies only put this on their products to prevent lawsuits. Report It
Reply:their were 2 many Report It
Reply:oh my i did have a giggle Report It
Reply:There%26#039;s one for the baby oil because unsupervised young children can inhale the oil which can coat the inside of their lungs and obstruct breathing. Report It
Reply:LMAO!!!!!!heres some just like those.
on package of peanuts
WARNING:CONTAINS NUTS
on a box of bread pudding
product will be hot after heating
on a bathrooms hand dryer
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS!
in a maternaty ward
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED!!
on repair shop door
we can fix anything (please knock,bell out of order)
Reply:LOL very funny
Reply:You spent some time on this and I did get a laugh from it. Thanks.
Reply:That is sooo funny! Did you know that the reason all of these are warnings, is because someone actually did them? It%26#039;s crazy to think about how ignorant people can be. Thanks for the laugh..
Reply:Wow, that%26#039;s alot... I like some of them!
Reply:Good, but way tooooooooooooooo long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:HONDA ONLY
we service and repair all
cars foreign and domestic
Reply:someone has a lot of time
Hotel reviews
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex
Do not spray in eyes.
Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm %26amp; Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.
Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.
Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children
Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.
Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.
Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a shower.
Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.
Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.
Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness
Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.
Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
Fire Extinguisher:
Caution: Non-Flamable
Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.
Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.
Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.
Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.
RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe
Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire
Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption
Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume
Hair Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.
Road Sign
Caution water on road during rain.
Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.
Road Sign
Cemetery Road. Dead End
Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park
Children%26#039;s Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often
Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold
American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.
Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.
Hershey%26#039;s Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts
Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food
500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.
Beach Ball
CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.
Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
Tesco%26#039;s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
Boot%26#039;s Children%26#039;s cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
Sainsbury%26#039;s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children
Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.
Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado
Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.
Infant%26#039;s bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.
Package of Fisherman%26#039;s Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.
Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.
Bottle of shampoo for dogs
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
Curling Iron
Warning: This product can burn eyes.
Hair Dryer
Do not use in shower.
Hair Dryer
Do not use while sleeping.
Hand-held Massaging Device
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.
A toilet at a public sports facility
Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.
Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Container of Underarm Deodorant.
Caution: Do not spray in eyes.
Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.
Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.
Toner cartridge for a laser printer
Do not eat toner.
13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow
Not intended for highway use.
Can of self-defense pepper spray.
May irritate eyes.
Novelty rock garden set called %26quot;Popcorn Rock%26quot;
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.
A frisbee
Warning: May contain small parts.
A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
Do not use orally.
A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Heated seat cushion
Warning: Do not use on eyes.
Microwave Oven:
Do not use for drying pets.
Electric Cattle Prod
For use on animals only.
Can of air freshener.
For use by trained personnel only.
Silly Putty
Do not use as ear plugs.
Knife sharpening stone
Warning: knives are sharp!
Deodorant
Do not use intimately.
Rat Poison
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Portable stroller
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
Dashboard of a mail truck
Look before driving.
Children%26#039;s cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Bottom of a supermarket dessert box
Do not turn upside down.
Package of dice.
Not for human consumption.
Bottled Drink:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
Shipment of hammers
May be harmful if swallowed.
Manual for an SGI computer.
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.
Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
Electric Thermometer.
Do not use orally after using rectally.
Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
Turn off motor before using this product.
6x10 inch inflatable picture frame
Not to be used as a personal flotation device.
Box of bottle rockets
Do not put in mouth.
Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack
Remove plastic before eating.
Box for a car jack
For lifting purposes only.
Instructions for a cordless phone:
Do not put lit candles on phone.
Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.
Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle %26quot;body-surfing%26quot; at a concert
Always drive on roads. Not on people.
Bus Stop
No stopping or standing.
Church Sign
These rows reserved for parents with children.
Bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Credit card statement.
Payment is due by the due date.
Laundromat triple washer
No small children.
Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building
Take care: new non-slip surface.
Box of Pills
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Can of black pepper.
Instructions: usage known.
Bag of cat biscuits
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.
Car Manual
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.
Espresso Kettle
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the %26#039;on%26#039; position.
T.V. manual
Do not pour liquids into your television set.
Label on a hammer
Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object
VCR box
Instructional video on hooking up VCR included.
Toilet brush
Do not use for personal hygiene.
Black rubber fishing worm
Not for human consumption.
Orange Juice Can:
100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.
Depend Adult Diapers
Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.
Furniture Wipes
Do not use for a baby wipe.
Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet
This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.
Lawnmower
Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning
Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza
Do not turn upside down.
Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle
Do not open here.
Bottle of bathtub cleaner
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
Container of lighter fluid
WARNING: Contents flammable!
Box of household nails
CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it
Direction #1: Remove plastic.
Drink bottle label
Do not peel label off.
Woolite carpet cleaner
Safe for carpets, too!
Box of Frosted Cheerio%26#039;s
The logo, %26quot;Tastes so good this box never closes,%26quot; is located just underneath another announcement: %26quot;To close: place tab here.%26quot;
Sterno
Do not use near fire or flame.
Container of salt
Warning: High in sodium
Hose Nozzle
Do not spray into electrical outlet.
Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products?
Oh my god, I laughed sooo hard when I was reading these. I have run into some funny ones myself. I think the best one was for some laundry pre-treater: spray on stain and wash.
Like nobody would have figured that one out. LOL
Reply:But these aren%26#039;t funny... these are there for protection. Report It
Reply:These aren%26#039;t for protection. The companies only put this on their products to prevent lawsuits. Report It
Reply:their were 2 many Report It
Reply:oh my i did have a giggle Report It
Reply:There%26#039;s one for the baby oil because unsupervised young children can inhale the oil which can coat the inside of their lungs and obstruct breathing. Report It
Reply:LMAO!!!!!!heres some just like those.
on package of peanuts
WARNING:CONTAINS NUTS
on a box of bread pudding
product will be hot after heating
on a bathrooms hand dryer
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS!
in a maternaty ward
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED!!
on repair shop door
we can fix anything (please knock,bell out of order)
Reply:LOL very funny
Reply:You spent some time on this and I did get a laugh from it. Thanks.
Reply:That is sooo funny! Did you know that the reason all of these are warnings, is because someone actually did them? It%26#039;s crazy to think about how ignorant people can be. Thanks for the laugh..
Reply:Wow, that%26#039;s alot... I like some of them!
Reply:Good, but way tooooooooooooooo long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:HONDA ONLY
we service and repair all
cars foreign and domestic
Reply:someone has a lot of time
Hotel reviews
What do you think of this opening for a book?
My husband is trying to be a writter and I think he is very good but he would like others opinions, please be honest and tell me what you think about the opening, good and bad critics please!
Ben Crosby sat at the far end of a table in an over lighted break room. The fluorescent glow was a constant reminder of how unnatural it was to be working at this ungodly hour. He munched on his vending machine sandwich with little enjoyment, he considered these meals to be one step up from eating cardboard slathered in mayonnaise, but sometimes he needed a little extra food at night to keep himself going. Gilly sat across from him, head in hands, snoring quietly. As Ben saw it he had two choices, he could kick the table hard with his steel toed boot and scare the **** out of his friend, or he could let the man sleep and then laugh his *** off when Norm came in and woke him with a spew of obscenities
Maybe this seems like a cruel joke to play on a friend, but Gilly had played his share of pranks and would no doubt take it in stride. Besides, there are so few things that can entertain a man who is eight hours into a twelve hour night shift.
He stood up and put on his safety glasses, smiling to himself, he only wished that he would still be in the room when Norm showed up. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and all his good cheer vanished in an instant. There was never good news in a text received at three in the morning, unless of course you are a junkie. Ben was not a junkie, and only two people had this number. One of them was sitting across from him, snoring over his half eaten mac and cheese, the other was his wife Donna.
Pulling the phone from his pocket, Ben could read the caller’s name without flipping the phone open. She should be asleep, she had to be up in the Morning to get Jenny ready for school, and then to go to work. Donna was a hard worker, and no one would ever call her lazy, but she loved to sleep, and was usually in bed as soon as her daughter drifted off to dreamland. Hesitating only for a second, Ben flipped open the phone, and pressed the button that would retrieve the message. The words on the screen froze his blood. SOMETHING WRONG W JENNY COME HOME NOW.
II
Donna Crosby sat by her daughter’s bed listening to her draw in breath after ragged breath. The little girl was cool to the touch, but she moaned and writhed, and no matter how hard she tried, Donna could not get Jenny to wake up. She had text Ben, but she no longer thought that was enough. She picked up the phone and dialed his cell number. He picked it up on the first ring and she had to choke back a sob before explaining to him what was happening.
She hated bothering him at work, and there had been a few times in her daughters younger days that Donna, being a first time parent had called him away because the little girl had the sniffles. He never got angry with her over it, understanding her protective nature, but he hated missing work. Not because he enjoyed his job, but because he hated to be seen as playing hooky.
This was not the sniffle’s, and as if to enforce the gravity of the situation, Jenny began to scream, the sound was blood curdling, filled with terror and sorrow. Ben would not think twice about coming home now, and Donna wept as she hung up the phone.
What do you think of this opening for a book?
hi,i am an avid book reader.i average 10 books per month.i am even nerdy enough to keep a book journal and critique the books i read and know which ones to recommend.so based on my humble book critic experience i would say i really like this opening.i would definitely keep reading.if a book doesnt grab me in the begining i put it down.this is very good.he is a talented writer.is this his first book?
cat skin problem
Ben Crosby sat at the far end of a table in an over lighted break room. The fluorescent glow was a constant reminder of how unnatural it was to be working at this ungodly hour. He munched on his vending machine sandwich with little enjoyment, he considered these meals to be one step up from eating cardboard slathered in mayonnaise, but sometimes he needed a little extra food at night to keep himself going. Gilly sat across from him, head in hands, snoring quietly. As Ben saw it he had two choices, he could kick the table hard with his steel toed boot and scare the **** out of his friend, or he could let the man sleep and then laugh his *** off when Norm came in and woke him with a spew of obscenities
Maybe this seems like a cruel joke to play on a friend, but Gilly had played his share of pranks and would no doubt take it in stride. Besides, there are so few things that can entertain a man who is eight hours into a twelve hour night shift.
He stood up and put on his safety glasses, smiling to himself, he only wished that he would still be in the room when Norm showed up. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and all his good cheer vanished in an instant. There was never good news in a text received at three in the morning, unless of course you are a junkie. Ben was not a junkie, and only two people had this number. One of them was sitting across from him, snoring over his half eaten mac and cheese, the other was his wife Donna.
Pulling the phone from his pocket, Ben could read the caller’s name without flipping the phone open. She should be asleep, she had to be up in the Morning to get Jenny ready for school, and then to go to work. Donna was a hard worker, and no one would ever call her lazy, but she loved to sleep, and was usually in bed as soon as her daughter drifted off to dreamland. Hesitating only for a second, Ben flipped open the phone, and pressed the button that would retrieve the message. The words on the screen froze his blood. SOMETHING WRONG W JENNY COME HOME NOW.
II
Donna Crosby sat by her daughter’s bed listening to her draw in breath after ragged breath. The little girl was cool to the touch, but she moaned and writhed, and no matter how hard she tried, Donna could not get Jenny to wake up. She had text Ben, but she no longer thought that was enough. She picked up the phone and dialed his cell number. He picked it up on the first ring and she had to choke back a sob before explaining to him what was happening.
She hated bothering him at work, and there had been a few times in her daughters younger days that Donna, being a first time parent had called him away because the little girl had the sniffles. He never got angry with her over it, understanding her protective nature, but he hated missing work. Not because he enjoyed his job, but because he hated to be seen as playing hooky.
This was not the sniffle’s, and as if to enforce the gravity of the situation, Jenny began to scream, the sound was blood curdling, filled with terror and sorrow. Ben would not think twice about coming home now, and Donna wept as she hung up the phone.
What do you think of this opening for a book?
hi,i am an avid book reader.i average 10 books per month.i am even nerdy enough to keep a book journal and critique the books i read and know which ones to recommend.so based on my humble book critic experience i would say i really like this opening.i would definitely keep reading.if a book doesnt grab me in the begining i put it down.this is very good.he is a talented writer.is this his first book?
cat skin problem
What are the repairs I need for my 1999 Jeep?
I have a 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee (V8 automatic) with 92300 miles.
Took it in for oil change and the dealership recommended the following:
Power steering pump replaced (leaking power fluid)
Axle side passenger side replaced (boot is torn)
Front pinion seal (leakage)
Rear output seal (leakage). Total estimated repair costs is approximately $2000.
Problem is this Jeep will be donated to charity in three months and I do not want to put a lot of money into the Jeep. My question: What needs to be repaired for safety sake? (I am driving 360 miles on business trip next week).
Thanks in advance for any input.
What are the repairs I need for my 1999 Jeep?
That shop is doing what they are intended to do and that is sell anything they can. I am sure all those are leaking, but that is fairly normal, I bet the front and rear pinion seals are %26quot;just wet%26quot; barely showing signs. But it makes a great sale! If you didnt request any of this looked at, I would not sweat it. The powersteering pump? I would ask them to show me where that is leaking. If its not from the front seal (behind the pulley) then its just a hose which is very common on that vehicle. the return line gets dried out and hard at the end. It has the standard pinch clamp so will show signs of leaking. One can just throw a new clamp on it and solve that problem.
If giving the vehicle away, I would think about the power steering leak, But get another opinion and ask to have the leak shown to you.
Reply:Have the axle boot replaced and the CV joint inspected at the same time. As long as you don%26#039;t see puddles of fluid under the car you are OK. Make sure all the fluids are checked and topped off before your trip. Check fluids weekly. Drive until you donate it to the charity. Your bill should be closer to $200.00 instead of $2,000.00
Reply:Seals on 9 year old cars routinely wear out.
Add a small can of power steering stop leak to the pump. The front boot can be replaced as a wrap around bolt on without tearing down the entire steering knuckle. As long as the joint remains greased and doesn%26#039;t pick up a lot of grit, it will be fine. A really innovative mechanic can clean the rip and glue it together with gasket maker - the stuff is that good.
The other seals also have additives available to swell them and reduce leakage - but even a replacement may not do the job as the surface they press against will have been worn down. That makes it a smaller diameter, and the replacement will be too big to bear against it and do the job.
Your 92300 miles is just half of the available mileage the engine will probably go before major repairs, but all the smaller stuff will - starters, alternators, water pump, etc generally quit after 110k miles. The charity will have bigger problems with that than a few seals leaking.
Reply:none of those are critical, just make sure you check your PS fluid regularly...or the steering might get stiff...
Reply:k it depends on how bad they are if they are pouring fluids or if they are just minor leaks. just make sure that they are full and let the next person worrie about it your getting rid of the damn thing anyway.
develop skin cancer
Took it in for oil change and the dealership recommended the following:
Power steering pump replaced (leaking power fluid)
Axle side passenger side replaced (boot is torn)
Front pinion seal (leakage)
Rear output seal (leakage). Total estimated repair costs is approximately $2000.
Problem is this Jeep will be donated to charity in three months and I do not want to put a lot of money into the Jeep. My question: What needs to be repaired for safety sake? (I am driving 360 miles on business trip next week).
Thanks in advance for any input.
What are the repairs I need for my 1999 Jeep?
That shop is doing what they are intended to do and that is sell anything they can. I am sure all those are leaking, but that is fairly normal, I bet the front and rear pinion seals are %26quot;just wet%26quot; barely showing signs. But it makes a great sale! If you didnt request any of this looked at, I would not sweat it. The powersteering pump? I would ask them to show me where that is leaking. If its not from the front seal (behind the pulley) then its just a hose which is very common on that vehicle. the return line gets dried out and hard at the end. It has the standard pinch clamp so will show signs of leaking. One can just throw a new clamp on it and solve that problem.
If giving the vehicle away, I would think about the power steering leak, But get another opinion and ask to have the leak shown to you.
Reply:Have the axle boot replaced and the CV joint inspected at the same time. As long as you don%26#039;t see puddles of fluid under the car you are OK. Make sure all the fluids are checked and topped off before your trip. Check fluids weekly. Drive until you donate it to the charity. Your bill should be closer to $200.00 instead of $2,000.00
Reply:Seals on 9 year old cars routinely wear out.
Add a small can of power steering stop leak to the pump. The front boot can be replaced as a wrap around bolt on without tearing down the entire steering knuckle. As long as the joint remains greased and doesn%26#039;t pick up a lot of grit, it will be fine. A really innovative mechanic can clean the rip and glue it together with gasket maker - the stuff is that good.
The other seals also have additives available to swell them and reduce leakage - but even a replacement may not do the job as the surface they press against will have been worn down. That makes it a smaller diameter, and the replacement will be too big to bear against it and do the job.
Your 92300 miles is just half of the available mileage the engine will probably go before major repairs, but all the smaller stuff will - starters, alternators, water pump, etc generally quit after 110k miles. The charity will have bigger problems with that than a few seals leaking.
Reply:none of those are critical, just make sure you check your PS fluid regularly...or the steering might get stiff...
Reply:k it depends on how bad they are if they are pouring fluids or if they are just minor leaks. just make sure that they are full and let the next person worrie about it your getting rid of the damn thing anyway.
develop skin cancer
What do you think of the opening of this book?
My husband is trying to be a writter and I think he is very good but he would like others opinions, please be honest and tell me what you think about the opening, good and bad critics please!
Ben Crosby sat at the far end of a table in an over lighted break room. The fluorescent glow was a constant reminder of how unnatural it was to be working at this ungodly hour. He munched on his vending machine sandwich with little enjoyment, he considered these meals to be one step up from eating cardboard slathered in mayonnaise, but sometimes he needed a little extra food at night to keep himself going. Gilly sat across from him, head in hands, snoring quietly. As Ben saw it he had two choices, he could kick the table hard with his steel toed boot and scare the **** out of his friend, or he could let the man sleep and then laugh his *** off when Norm came in and woke him with a spew of obscenities
Maybe this seems like a cruel joke to play on a friend, but Gilly had played his share of pranks and would no doubt take it in stride. Besides, there are so few things that can entertain a man who is eight hours into a twelve hour night shift.
He stood up and put on his safety glasses, smiling to himself, he only wished that he would still be in the room when Norm showed up. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and all his good cheer vanished in an instant. There was never good news in a text received at three in the morning, unless of course you are a junkie. Ben was not a junkie, and only two people had this number. One of them was sitting across from him, snoring over his half eaten mac and cheese, the other was his wife Donna.
Pulling the phone from his pocket, Ben could read the caller’s name without flipping the phone open. She should be asleep, she had to be up in the Morning to get Jenny ready for school, and then to go to work. Donna was a hard worker, and no one would ever call her lazy, but she loved to sleep, and was usually in bed as soon as her daughter drifted off to dreamland. Hesitating only for a second, Ben flipped open the phone, and pressed the button that would retrieve the message. The words on the screen froze his blood. SOMETHING WRONG W JENNY COME HOME NOW.
II
Donna Crosby sat by her daughter’s bed listening to her draw in breath after ragged breath. The little girl was cool to the touch, but she moaned and writhed, and no matter how hard she tried, Donna could not get Jenny to wake up. She had text Ben, but she no longer thought that was enough. She picked up the phone and dialed his cell number. He picked it up on the first ring and she had to choke back a sob before explaining to him what was happening.
She hated bothering him at work, and there had been a few times in her daughters younger days that Donna, being a first time parent had called him away because the little girl had the sniffles. He never got angry with her over it, understanding her protective nature, but he hated missing work. Not because he enjoyed his job, but because he hated to be seen as playing hooky.
This was not the sniffle’s, and as if to enforce the gravity of the situation, Jenny began to scream, the sound was blood curdling, filled with terror and sorrow. Ben would not think twice about coming home now, and Donna wept as she hung up the phone.
What do you think of the opening of this book?
I agree with Kit - - creative writing classes would only benefit your husband. He definitely has a great way with words and descriptions. Reading the first part of your excerpt, I can actually %26quot;see%26quot; Ben and feel his lethargy and lack of joy at eating %26quot;cardboard with mayo%26quot;. I can also picture his co-worker Gilly, asleep at the table.
I would definitely keep reading this, to find out why Jenny is screaming and what is wrong with her. So he certainly has a hook that will draw the reader in.
Please tell him to keep up the good work - - and best of luck!
Reply:I can%26#039;t stress this enough. Check out your local Junior College and see if you can%26#039;t get your husband into a creative writing class. He definitely has a way with words, but there is discipline to be considered.
Good story-telling is one thing; good writing, another. Composition classes, writing classes, can be a great help in learning structure and presentation. Basic grammar is very important. (BTW, the classes at your local JC are going to be much cheaper and more valuable than the %26quot;Do you want to be a writer%26quot; courses offered by certain companies out there.)
But don%26#039;t give up!!
microsoft excel
Ben Crosby sat at the far end of a table in an over lighted break room. The fluorescent glow was a constant reminder of how unnatural it was to be working at this ungodly hour. He munched on his vending machine sandwich with little enjoyment, he considered these meals to be one step up from eating cardboard slathered in mayonnaise, but sometimes he needed a little extra food at night to keep himself going. Gilly sat across from him, head in hands, snoring quietly. As Ben saw it he had two choices, he could kick the table hard with his steel toed boot and scare the **** out of his friend, or he could let the man sleep and then laugh his *** off when Norm came in and woke him with a spew of obscenities
Maybe this seems like a cruel joke to play on a friend, but Gilly had played his share of pranks and would no doubt take it in stride. Besides, there are so few things that can entertain a man who is eight hours into a twelve hour night shift.
He stood up and put on his safety glasses, smiling to himself, he only wished that he would still be in the room when Norm showed up. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and all his good cheer vanished in an instant. There was never good news in a text received at three in the morning, unless of course you are a junkie. Ben was not a junkie, and only two people had this number. One of them was sitting across from him, snoring over his half eaten mac and cheese, the other was his wife Donna.
Pulling the phone from his pocket, Ben could read the caller’s name without flipping the phone open. She should be asleep, she had to be up in the Morning to get Jenny ready for school, and then to go to work. Donna was a hard worker, and no one would ever call her lazy, but she loved to sleep, and was usually in bed as soon as her daughter drifted off to dreamland. Hesitating only for a second, Ben flipped open the phone, and pressed the button that would retrieve the message. The words on the screen froze his blood. SOMETHING WRONG W JENNY COME HOME NOW.
II
Donna Crosby sat by her daughter’s bed listening to her draw in breath after ragged breath. The little girl was cool to the touch, but she moaned and writhed, and no matter how hard she tried, Donna could not get Jenny to wake up. She had text Ben, but she no longer thought that was enough. She picked up the phone and dialed his cell number. He picked it up on the first ring and she had to choke back a sob before explaining to him what was happening.
She hated bothering him at work, and there had been a few times in her daughters younger days that Donna, being a first time parent had called him away because the little girl had the sniffles. He never got angry with her over it, understanding her protective nature, but he hated missing work. Not because he enjoyed his job, but because he hated to be seen as playing hooky.
This was not the sniffle’s, and as if to enforce the gravity of the situation, Jenny began to scream, the sound was blood curdling, filled with terror and sorrow. Ben would not think twice about coming home now, and Donna wept as she hung up the phone.
What do you think of the opening of this book?
I agree with Kit - - creative writing classes would only benefit your husband. He definitely has a great way with words and descriptions. Reading the first part of your excerpt, I can actually %26quot;see%26quot; Ben and feel his lethargy and lack of joy at eating %26quot;cardboard with mayo%26quot;. I can also picture his co-worker Gilly, asleep at the table.
I would definitely keep reading this, to find out why Jenny is screaming and what is wrong with her. So he certainly has a hook that will draw the reader in.
Please tell him to keep up the good work - - and best of luck!
Reply:I can%26#039;t stress this enough. Check out your local Junior College and see if you can%26#039;t get your husband into a creative writing class. He definitely has a way with words, but there is discipline to be considered.
Good story-telling is one thing; good writing, another. Composition classes, writing classes, can be a great help in learning structure and presentation. Basic grammar is very important. (BTW, the classes at your local JC are going to be much cheaper and more valuable than the %26quot;Do you want to be a writer%26quot; courses offered by certain companies out there.)
But don%26#039;t give up!!
microsoft excel
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